Omega...the beginning of the end

For some strange reason I suddenly have a loss of words. This is very strange because in the last few days, I've wanted to talk very incessantly...and so I've been talking a good deal. But I've for some strange reason found it impossible to communicate myself thus far this morning.
My mind is overflowing with interesting and provoking thoughts and I can't seem to get them out. Oi.
The ending is annoying... of anything... Not for Bryce anyways, he loves moving on...
For those who have ever ended anything... Saying goodbye to your friends... watched an amazing movie series... Or whatever, the ending brings with it, this longing... wishing... for it to continue. I even get that after reading a good book. Wierd.
This was thought #1...

Thought #2: Girls seem to view their shoes the same way a Guy would eye a nice car. They argue and coverse about design features and mention how this model compares to other similar ones and how it beats out 'last year's model'. And both shoes and cars are designed to take us to varying destinations... Wierd.

Thought #3: I think we underestimate righteousness... (right living by God's way of thinking) Or perhaps we over estimate it. Maybe we just don't quite get it at all. I find it so easy to wallow around in my comfortable world of semi-righteousness. Things are going so good right now... But as I read through the Psalms, I found that it's not worth it in the end to live like that. The ones who really are living the way God wants will be richly repaid... even if they find it hard now... and those who find it easy now will find just how much they may have been displeasing God as He watched silently. It's been like a cold shower shock to my thinking lately. We need to be doing what God wants of us, whether or not things are going good for us. A lot of bad things happen to good people. And many will hold on until near the end and then give up and freak out. We need to hold on. People like Job and David reminded me just how much we need to be clinging onto God's love and trying to be holy. But it's not to be like one of those... 'Oh, now I have to be holy... ' things. It's like if I know I'm going to be meeting someone special, say Karina, and I notice that I stink... or I haven't got very good breath... I'll go and get cleaned up for her arrival. It's not something I have to do. But it's something I want to do. That is how we should love God. Whether things are good or bad.

Thought #4: God doesn't want sacrifice... he wants us. Broken and willing to be used by Him. That is what is: a) Pleasing to God, and b) Pleasing to us. We find ourselves most fulfilled when God is pleased with us.
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This week I was more sick than I've been all year. This nasty flu came and swept through AJ at camp 2 weeks ago, and then at the start of this week Rhys caught it and then I caught it right after him. I'm not quite recovered yet. My throat is still really sandpapery. None the less, I have much more energy then I did before and I'm glad to be able to get around and expend some energy again.
We finished our 'last' sunday service program other than our last 'last' one that's at the end of this week... and of course not counting our last last 'last' program which will in fact be a bunch of program stuff at the big IMCO conference in the middle of August they have once every 4 years. I'm very much looking forward to that for several reasons. One, I get to see my family... Two, I get to let them see our programs stuff... and three, I get to see everyone else, and they all get to see our program stuff too! ^_^ I'm very excited for it.
Anyways, this last sunday, it was really fun. Things went well, and we enjoyed doing our best for God in that program and He was definately helping us to do it. lol, we have this drama where AJ comes in on his knees to find Bryce, Janelle and myself all kneeling in the middle of the stage. He excitedly informs us that he has legs. We all laugh at him for it. I mean, to think of someone actually having legs to move about with? Absurd! Anyways, he rocks our world by telling us that we have legs and then he lifts us to our feet and we all join with him in our excitement. At the end, we want to go tell others, but instead of walking to them with our legs that we have now, we use our knees. We need to be using the things God has given us to use for his kingdom. Now, normally, I just crawl down the stage steps on my knees and go to my seat. But this last sunday, I was wearing one of my pairs of 'smooth' dress pants. ER... trousers. Anyways, so as I was going down the steps, I slipped and went head first down to the floor, my feet stuck in the air. My team thought I was just going over the top with my acting, but lol, if they only knew that I had accidently nearly faceplanted myself into their carpet.
It was fun.
Speaking of fun, I have Onion Rings to finish eating. Have a wonderful day and may you listen for God is the quiet today.
Grace and Peace
James

Cycles of pain... Cycles of joy

I write this, covered in several layers of sweat. Cabin dudes lookin over my shoulder. The sounds of chattering and stomping feet… Mosquitoes biting my bare back.
This was a great week… though I’m very very tired.
I’ve been counselling this week with a guy named Steven. He’s real awesome. At the start this week, I had asked if he could share his story for later this week. I never really grasped how much that may mean. It was a tough week. But a good week. Anyways, yesterday I asked Steve if he could share his story again. The guys in our cabin joined in the interest of Steve’s past. That’s when we got a bit of a surprise. We found out that 2 years ago to the day, Steve had been in an accident in Mexico.
He had been stick fighting with a friend on a short mission trip with metal brooms. They were in this high building and when he held up the broom stick at one point, the power lines were nearby… The 14000V electricity made an arc across to the broom and went through Steve’s arm and then down the building into the ground. This accident left him with a charred arm and clenched hand for a while and he had to stay in the hospital for 7 weeks. It was really painful for him to talk to us about this, because this day was the anniversary. It was really cool to see God work the healing process. It gave the whole cabin a great respect for him. Suddenly I realized why he did some of the things he did.
It was so great to see him telling these kids that God can use even terribly painful circumstances and problems to work out good things in the end.
Things will work out in the end…
That is a comforting thought.
An end to pain and suffering…
An end to bitterness…
An end to endings…
And the beginning of forever…
- July 14th 2007



Another week have camp has begun. This is not the same camp, nor does it feel anything like it. We are at Camp Evergreen and I was quite pleased that I got a free staff T-shirt, that not only fits, but that I quite enjoy how it looks. In large letters, 'Reckless Abandon' in a strong yellowy orange straddles chest.
This week has been interesting in that it is a lot larger than any of the camps I have previously been. They have a lot of staff. In fact, our VTI team's responsibility is only to take a half hour in the evening. Normally, I'd be let down that we don't have much to do. On the other hand, this allows for me to be able to catch up on some very much needed rest and this frees us up to focus on the IMCO conference that is beginning to loom ahead of us with many mixed feelings. It's great as far as the conference goes. But we also realize that the IMCO conference at Briercrest will be our last opportunity to experience as the team F&F63. Bryce will be going to Bible School next year instead of coming back on Encore. Alas, we will cease to be 'Portable Instanity' without him letting us know when we do crazy things.
He will be sorely missed.
As also I have sorely missed many of you all this year. Thank you so much for your prayers. You are not forgotten.

Life is such a strange and fragile thing. We blink and we see moments pass us by that will never return. And to dwell merely on the thoughts such as this as we watch ourselves and others age would only lead to sorrow and hopelessness.
This is why I am so exceedingly glad to know that life does go on. We were never made to live forever in this body. But one day we will. In fact, the very longing for immortality, for joy and a lack of pain is our souls longing for the day that is inevitable when things are set right by the Creator of all things. What a day that will be.

In the meantime, let us show the world to which citizenship we truly belong.

~James

I have returned!

The van smelled like people. Sweating, tired, people. At least it wasn’t 104 degrees like the day before, but none the less, it was really hot. The funny thing is, I didn’t mind the heat. Being in China 2 years ish ago, I learned to enjoy the feeling of having to perspire a lot. It’s weird, I know, but at the end of a long hot day, having a simple cool shower makes a refreshment that we cannot otherwise understand. It is so cleansifying… I know cleansifying isn’t actually a word, but it serves the meaning I wish to convey better.

Coming down here to Montana we were stuck at the border for 3 hours by a crossing guard who I was sure thought we wanted to smuggle in herds of buffalo or thought we wanted to get all the cattle in Montana to start a revolution. As such, we had to wait for a while in the office. While we were waiting, I found after a while I could relax a bit and as such I was able to cheer the others up a little. I even realized that their office was actually painted like their flag. Red, white and blue… weird. We aren’t near as proud of our country. It’s a shame sometimes. One of the main reasons they held us there was that one of our letters of invitation, out of three, was an email print off with no letterhead. As such we had to get VTI to send the border a detailed summary about who we are, what we do, and whether or not we were going to serve juice or hand out markers (seriously….) So, we waited… and waited… three hours in, a different guy came up very apologetic saying that the fax machine had gibbled up and accidentally lost our fax in with another. So they did find it, but had taken a while.
This was our introduction to the U.S. of A.

We did Day Vacation Bible school the first week were there in a town called Ulm…Olm…I forget now… But it sounds like those. It’s just slightly south of Great Falls. Anyways, I immediately realized a couple things. One, they still had mosquitoes south of the Canadian border. And two, that things are a lot more ‘Christian’ in the States. I mean, in Canada, religion has to be carefully regulated and *gasp* to think you could maybe find something ‘religious’ in a store or something?! Oh the horrors. But in the States, ‘Christian’ things are everywhere. Advertisements for example sometimes portray cross necklaces being worn on the advertisement. It was different to see. Other things like that.
Perhaps, one of the reasons it interested me so much was that I had recently been reading a book by Rob Bell called, ‘Velvet Elvis’… It talks about ‘repainting the Christian faith’. Now one of the things he talked about was that by definition, a Christian should be living a better life. You know a more fulfilled one. Or simply a better one. Living life to the full. Using the talents God has given us and just giving a 110% to give God glory in what we do. This is Christian. And there are times where people will sell things that are ‘Christian’ that aren’t. Like, say, there’s this new ‘Christian’ band out but they don’t portray anything good…. Is it truly ‘Christian’ then? Anyways, I was in the middle of a whole lot of thinking and trying to figure out things like that when at the end of the week at VBS I became very upset. Not angry. More depressed. I was looking over my life, my purpose and how I should be living. I realized that no matter what I did, I always seemed to mess up. I’d ask God to help me be a good leader, or to work hard, or to not sin, the typical, but I kept on messing up. What’s with that? It was a very hard time for me. And I was like that for nearly 2 weeks.
Meanwhile we had been doing 2 DVBS programs a day in the towns of Avon and Elliston. The kids were great but I felt awful. But God broke through. I don’t quite understand everything that happened, but I remember driving home one evening and that despair that had been floating above my head lifted and I felt joy again. It was amazing. And it was really great that I was back on my feet just before camp started at Camp Mizpah. We worked with Dave Caroll and his family. It was a great week at camp. God worked there. We were able to share so much about ourselves with these kids and they with us. It was great. We’d be out there at this little fire pit area with an American flag. Out there we saw these kids spill their hearts out to each other. The first night we really started sharing with each other, there was so much pain that they poured out all at once that you could feel it hanging in the air. We sent up a lot of prayers and there was a lot of group praying that was done.
The next night there I was able to share about letting God take us. It’s only from Jesus that we can find who we really are. My problem was I was looking in on myself, and the more I did so, the more I lost myself. The more we look to Jesus, the more we find who we are. It’s weird like that. Anyways, so we had more prayer and praise and it was a great time. I miss all those kids now. It was a great week at camp. I have pics up from all of that. It was great. I had a nasty sunburn. AJ and myself. As such, on swim day I was out there in a full big brown hoody so as to not burn myself any further. They thought was I was weird. But they were really glad I came, especially the guys from my cabin.
So, this last week we had another 2 DVBS programs every day. One in Belt and the other in Highwood. I think that’s right. It’s also somewhat near Great Falls. We had a good time there and the kids were great. We also had a lot more energy this week because of all the helpers they had to assist us in the games and crafts. I enjoyed making tie dye shirts. Hehe.
I realized that they liked it when I spiked up my hair… so I did that a fair bit of the time… Those kids were great. The Pastor there is named Brent, and he would faithfully water down the road every morning. The reason he did so was it would get so hot that the tar on the road would get sticky… I mean, really sticky…. And it would inevitably end up on kids’ shoes and on the church carpets. Therefore, he’d make sure to water the road to try to keep it cool enough not to get sticky. I sometimes got quite stuck later in the afternoons anyways though….
After our fine time there and being able to stay with Ron and Pat Long, we made our way back to Canada in a big ol’ white van.

And now we arrive at where we first found ourselves.

AJ was content all afternoon listening to music and occasionally listening on something crazy that was happening.
Bryce was content all afternoon reading, eating and (when he could get a hold of the laptop) to play freecell. We had a grand time bugging each other and comparing speculative thoughts on varying issues.
He liked eating the cookies.
Coralie and Rhys sat in the front after we got back into Canada, making sure to wave at every oncoming vehicle. What they discovered is that on the main road, roughly 10% of the drivers waved back. On smaller roads near smaller towns, the percentage increased to more than 25%. Very interesting. My theory is that Alberta people are just playing hard to get. Unlike Manitoba who’s licence plate motto is ‘A friendly place’ or something to that effect. Alberta is Wild Rose country… hard to get…beautiful but with some thorns you know? Saskatchewan’s people are always looking to the ‘living skies’ because they don’t want to look at the roads they have to drive on… J
Janelle. She was trying to learn some German and to count the train cars we would see whenever we were stopped by a passing train. Our job was to try to make sure she’d lose count. It was a blast. Hehehe.
Me? I was just thinking over what to say in this entry and trying to make sure that Janelle would lose count of the train cars. It was a great ride back, and this time we didn’t have trouble at the border.

God has been doing amazing things and He helped renew my spirit and I’m eager to get back out there doing my best for Him. So we learned a few things on the way back…
One, people must think we’re weird because we’ve been so overtired the last while. You know how you can get loopy at the end of a long day? Yeah… it’s great.
Two, that God can do amazing things if we are willing to let Him work.
Three, God can use anyone…
Four, bikers are more friendly than the rest of the vehicle drivers.
Weird.

Now today it is Sunday and I'm hoping Karina will be swinging by. We're heading off to Camp Evergreen, near Okatoks, this afternoon. Should be an interesting week.
Thank you all for your prayers!
Grace and Peace
~ James